Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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