ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
