And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
