No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
