I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
