I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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