I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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