im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
