I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
third nipple confirmed
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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