her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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