when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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