the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
