yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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