grandma shit on top of the toilet
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Randomize
