We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
