i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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