Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
