Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
There r osticjed everywhere
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
