just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
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