I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Randomize