he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
