Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
