he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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