I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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