Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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