im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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