Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
