jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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