Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
