did you get engaged???
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
