come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
