The maid of honor just puked.
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
