what day is it and did you see me today?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
It's shark week go big or go home
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
