And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
thus making me awesome and them whores
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
