I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
