Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
