Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
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