You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
