you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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