he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
