you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
