We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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