She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
