im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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