Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
