I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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