I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
