and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
