they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
