Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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