Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
