i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
