you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
