i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
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