Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
