me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Randomize
