Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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