he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
love makes seman taste better
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
