Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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