Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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