Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I look better un-naked...
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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