They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
