I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Randomize
