all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Someone shattered a urinal.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
