This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
